O.D.M on Syrian News and Stupid Analysis

A lot of Disobedients are wondering what the hell is gonna happen in Syria next, I understand this urge of knowing the unknown. The love of knowing the unknown is a normal human instinct, starting from looking down the toilette seat to see what color and shape you shit looks like today, is it hard? Soft? The floating one? The non-Flushable? Does it need to be broken up by a stick to go down the drain?

Same thing with Syria, we know it is going down the drain but we don’t know what kind of shit to expect. It is perfectly normal not to know. But there is something that is very abnormal. Something so annoying that it constipates O.D.M, it pisses him off so much that he dedicates half an hour of his time to write about it. The feeling is like jumping from a burning airplane, finding a God-sent parachute miraculously in mid air, but still landing on the Eiffel tower, ass first.

Let’s assume the Syria debacle right now is a simple going to the bathroom dilemma. WE all feel that shit is ringing our but-holes interphone; we all know we are going to shit, sooner or later.

What we don’t know is what kind of shit to expect, and quite frankly we can’t know for sure, unless we are Shit experts, and we have spies down our asses. Some professionals may ask you what you have eaten, and predict what is to be shitted i.e. Mexican food gives you burning dangling shit, pizza and steaks give you ass-hurting shit, carbohydrates give you shit that floats, common people can never know this shit. OTHER’S THINK THAT THEY KNOW, AND TELL YOU THAT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE DIARRHEA, WHILE THE TRUTH IS YOU HAVE REGULAR BROWN SHIT THAT YOU ARE GOING TO WIPE IN THEIR FACE.

This is what pisses me off.Let’s turn the Shit dilemma to the Political analysis now. We all know that change is happening in Syria, but we really can’t tell what kind of shit is gonna take place. Some news analyst, and political thinkers, predict what will happen according to facts, given the current circumstances and events. Proffesional Political Analysts know more history, use more historical facts and still admit that they can always be wrong, because nobody really knows what happens behind closed doors, I don't know what my best friend says when I am not there, how about our presidents? Maybe Bashar and Bush are gay partners, with an adopted kid fro Neiroubi.

Back to the Subject, Some Media outlets like the Sheikh Hamburger financed “Al-Seyassa” newspaper in Kuwait, and many other Arab media always analyze the Syrian future according to how their ass feels that same day, which happens to be helpless, smelly with lotsa greasy hair.

O.D.M hits the "Low-Down": No Doubt
Disobedients: in Saudi Arabian math books, they define a pair of Parallel lines as: “Two lines that never meet unless God changes his mind, Inshallah”. Parallel lines never meet, that is a fact. Another fact, is that we have no viable party as of now to take over from our Giraffe looking-17 letter-lisping-President Bashar Al-Assad.I don’t care about the Reform Party of Syria, The Syrian Republican Party, Syrian Coalition Against Colored People, nor The Syrian Gay Nighclub Party.

I have said this many many times before, the only Pre-established Political party in Syria is the Syrian Communist party and the Muslim Brothers in the Hood (Brotherhood). None of those parties will control a public bathroom in Syria, let alone the whole country, not over Sharon’s naked fat dead body.

When Condoleezza stood in Egypt and said that the U.S. will no longer support stability at the cost of democracy, I felt two things at the same time, disgusted and humiliated. How could that Mean looking bitch lie straight to our faces like that, and why does she look like an angry monkey ?

No More stability at the cost of Democracy!?!?!?!?

-What about Half of the Millitary Juntas in Southern America? From Cuba to Venezuella.-What About Kuwait, Saudi Arabia, and the rest of the Gulf Region?
-What about thee quarters of the world living under oppression?

and so on…

Situation in Syria

-Kanaan knew too much, and he was a liability to the Syrian Regime, he was expendable because when he goes down, a detailed history of 30 years of assassination and covert operations in Lebanon are gona.

-By this action, Bashar Al-Assad knows that the harm from the Mehlis report will be minimized. Given that the Mehlis Report implicates his regime directly. I don’t think that they will find hard evidence, but the report is going to be much politicized, George Bush and others already go on TV everyday and, like morons, say “We expect this report to find Syrians role in Harriri Killing”.

In fact, In his shoe box called mind, Bush already knows that Syria is involved, and is “studying ways of furthering sanctions against Syria”.. On the other hand, Syria does have some leverage; Bashar knows there is no replacement for him. He knows that however the report comes out, two or three expendable people at the max can be given up, all of whom are guaranteed to be silent or silenced, Syria can handle that.

When I say He is monkey lipped, believe me.

O.D.M’s Favourite Segment: Weekly Al-Seyassa Newspaper Bashing

Back to what pisses me off everyday as I read the news. Al-Seyassa newspaper, Lord have Mercy! Unfortunately Disobedients, the gap in intelligence and professionalism between the West and the Middle East is bigger than my workers ass (which I described vividly in previous posts- the ass with dimples). This gap is found in everything we do from manufacturing socks, to services, to news reporting.
Why am I ranting like an old women with no teeth? BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT SOME HEADLINES:

Syrian Official Found Dead (Washington Post)
Syrian minister commits suicide (London Free Press)
Syria probes minister's 'suicide' (BBC News)
Syrian Interior Minister Commits Suicide (Voice of America)
Politician's suicide on eve of UN report (the Scotsman)
A Leading Syrian Minister Dies, Apparently a Suicide (the New York Times)
Embattled Syrian minister found dead (the Guardian)

Even the extreme Fox News says: Eyes Turn to Syria After Interior Minister's Suicide (through AP)

Here are some of the many Western Headlines that doubt the “suicide”:
Doubt over gun death (Reuters)
The mysterious death of Syria’s minister of the interior (Radio Netherland)
Was 'suicide' of Syrian official a cover-up? (Chicago Sun-Times)
Eyes Turn to Syria After Interior Minister's Suicide (Zaman Online)

Those people, Report the facts. Some biased Media may chose the facts they want, but they still report facts: There is a dead Interior Minister, and there is a lot of talk of him being Killed rather than himself committing suicide.

Take the most radical news channel in the States, Fox News, Fox News may not necessarily report Palestinian Deaths, but it reports a single Israeli casualty in every news segment it has, in its half hour news casts, to its commentary and talk shows. They select what they want to say, but they say FACTS.

NOW!

Look at those bumbling dildos at the Al-Seyassa Newspaper, whose campaign on Syria started on the eve of Harriri’s Assassination:

Kanaan tried to take over Syria by a Coup D’etat, so they Killed Him.Meanwhile Asef Shawkat is in Control of all of Syria.

This is the actual f$$king headline. It actually looks like a short story to me! Where are the facts? Bumbling idiots. Everyday they have an out of this world breaking news, THIS SHIT MAKES ME WANTO TO BREAK THEIR HEADS!

To Do List:
Al-Seyassa gay reporters need to step up to Reporting industry standards and report facts, based on research, Or I will personally make sure that I will stick my foot up in their mouths, since they love playing with toes. ITS OK TO BE BIASED YOU CAVEMEN LOOKING GLUTTONOUS MONKEYS, BUT DON"T MAKE UP SHIT, ESPECIALLY EVERYDAY!

What is wrong with those Gay Bedouins? Are they happy that they got some education and can actually hold pens? It is kind of an impressive to learn how to read and write when you were a Goat-milking prehistoric hairy mofos about 20 years ago. BUT NOT EVERYONE WHO READS AND WRITE SHOULD WRITE NEWS STORIES!

Since Al-Seyassa Newspaper reserves the right to report whatever it wants, O.D.M has a list of Headlines he has aboutAl-Seyassa Newspaper. All news comes from confidential news sources that work in “high-levels”:

Al-Seyassa News Editor summoned to court, after sexually harassing gay Philippino Barber in Shop.
Al-Seyassa News Editor Caught following little kids in KG school.
Al-Seyassa crew consider little boys’ summer swimming pool their nigh club
Al-Seyassa Owner found dead after inserting a stapler up his ass, coworkers said: “He Enjoyed it at first!”
Kuwaiti Ruler, Sheikh Hamburger, kills his 73rd daughter, after realizing the prostitute unknowingly slept with him.
Al-Seyassa News Editor found with a foot u in his mouth

Look at this caveman :











"I love Little Kids!" Said Sheikh HAMBURGARR