Wednesday, February 22, 2006

O.D.M on Harriri and Assad

O.D.M has pounds of beef with Botox Harriri. But I do owe him condolences for his father, and also would like to congratulate him for his recent freedom from our dysfunctional regime.

Howfuckingever, I do not appreciate him dissing the Syrian people. To all of you who say he has only attacked the Syrian regime, I say, go tickle your pickle somewhere else.

Beside having his eyebrows and mouth botoxed, when this guy speaks he triggers the last phase of my digestive process...

Him and Bashar are alike, both with no charisma, both are very dumb, and both laugh at their own jokes.

People who laugh at their own jokes have a problem that I have documented in the early 2000's, a syndrome that I call Lackoparentinosis.

Lackoparentinosis is identified when people, like Mr. Assad and Harriri, excessivly laugh at their own jokes, granted that nobody else finds it funny.

For example:

Christian Amanpour of CNN asks Bashar Assad:

"Do you fear a U.S attack on Syria?"

Bashar replies: "No, are they afraid of us* ? HAHAHAHAHAHAdhsk"

*Bashar lisps, so please read "s" as "th"

Another Example,

Pussy-Lipped Harriri was answering a reporter who asked him how he is going to govern Lebanon from overseas, since he's been away for more than 6 months, his answer was:

"I am away, but my mind is close, you know...telepathy! HAHAHAHAKASHDLKSD"

Lackoparentinosis is directly linked to lack of parenting.

When your 13 year old kid, who has no sense of his physical weight or how ugly he looks with his two front teeth missing, comes running to you with some stupid joke and tries to hug you and sit on your lap with his big ass, SLAP HIM backhanded! so he can remember your slapping posture afterwards and always realize that he is not that cute pre-puberty cute kid.

A backhanded slap will never be forgotten, unlike the traditional one.

Kids need not be spoiled, if you laugh at every joke your kid says or try to make him feel good by lying and saying he is funny, he/she will develope severe complexes that cannot be reveresed.

Effects may vary, even though both of our subjects, Bashar and Harriri have developed severe Lackoparentinosis, their side-effects are different... And more and more side effects are being discovered until now.

Harriri's oily glands in his facial zone "T" have countered by producing botox, this is why the guy is like Hantsu, your next door Asian grocery owner: No facial expressions, you don't know if they guy is laughing, mad, or is just struggling with conctipation...Hariri is worst than Hantsu, because the mofo's neck doesn't move as well.

Bashar, on the other hand has the lisp side effect.

I would like to tell Harriri, Anti-Haircut Junblatt, and that malnutritioned owl GeaGea:

I don't know about Harriri, but I know about the last two of you. You know what I know, and I know what you know, and you know that I know what you know.

You are a bunch of flip flopping-ass licking-back stabbing-opportunity-seeking-mother-fucking crooks..And all Syrians know that, especially with ShumDraat (Fart Sniffing Junblat)..the fact that Harriri and GEaGEa hold hand with him as he is dissing Syria makes all of them crooks, and pisses all Syrians off.

Instead YA DIPSHITS, when you have so much media covering your one year anniversary that you turned into a Gay Parade you gay ass sons of bitches, talk to the Syrians. As you gay three hold hands under a rainbow and are cussing Bashar out..ask Syrians to stand up for their right...tell them what the power of the masses can do you stupid ass little piglets.

That's why you are dumb politicians and Lebanon would never make it with you but-cracks in would have taken two words to raise hell deep in your enemies terretory... A lot easier than Saad Harriri brown nosing Bush and his 40 followers. A lot easier than the 5 million dollar grant to Syrian opposition.

The end of our regime is coming however...and my Disobedient-2 is almost out.

Syria Forever,


Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Veni Vidi La TIZI

Don't blame me if I haven't written all day!
Do not ask me why I have no shit to say!

Do you want me to whine about shit-talking Bush and Blair?
Or yesterdays' faggets with their never ending bitching at Martyrs Square?

Republican and Democrats bashing each other in America...
they both suck ass, Middle East policy never change neither their actions against Syria..

While the shit hit the fan Mr. Giraff is still clueless...
The guy doesn't know how to tame his dog, my little cousin's got more prudence..
Like 2pac, the Mukhabarat wanna see me dead...
They put prices on my head...
now I got two rottweiler and my Glock by my bed...
I am sick and tired of watching the world go by...
Watching events unfold having no say, being another fool that has to comply

The crowds so far have been too silent and sleepy...
Until I run the shit, I'll do Julious Ceasars verse with a minor change: "Veni Vidi La Tizi"


I am speechless... but I want to share with you this little verse from the Shit, the Great Nizar Qabbani, he sums up what I said and explains why they are all farts in the wind...

When you read this shit, make sure you stand up for two reasons:

-Celebreties walk on red carpet, Nizar Qabbani walks on toilette paper, because he's the shit..
-It took me half an hour to look for each letter on the damn keyboard, show some respect.

لا تقرأ شيئاّّ عن خرافات العرب
فحربهم ءاشاعة و سيفهم خشب
و حبهم خيانا و عشقهم كذب


Wednesday, February 08, 2006


O.D.M Recieved Dispatch 69 from Disobedient-47:

To: The One and Only O.D.M
From: Disobedient-47
Re: Iran Situation-Intelligence-Dispatch 69

Greetings Comrad O.D.M,

Attack on Iran nuclear facilities will presume on the dawn of March 28, 2006

Attack will either be by a joint U.S/ British Command Force, or NATO.

Information acquired through agent Disobedient-X in the Council on Foreign Relations, NYC. XXX XXXX XX XXXX XXXXX XX XXXXX, XXXX XXXX XXXXX XXXXX, XXXXX.


Syria Forever,


Thank you Disobedient-47,

Syria Forever,


Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Freedom of Speech: How About Insulting your Mama?

Iran Daily Holds Contest for Holocaust Cartoons


tsuk tsuk tsuk..................

Is this going to press that red button up every Jews buttom or what?

Today I got so pissed off I decided to take it to the biggest Jewish Forum I can find, I just removed all the insults I got, and put constructive arguments that I had, with my dear cousins, the Jews.

Jew1: I bet you Jerusalem that there won't be no burned Embassies or barbaric acts like you Animals!

O.D.M: uffffffff....I wish you were Olmert making such a big bet! Can you notarize this long nose?

Jew2: O.D.M, Iran is picking a fight. Why? Do they want a reason to send nukes to Israel? Do they have them now and just need someone else to fire the first shot? If Iran starts a war, they will be sorry they did.

O.D.M: yup, aha...yup..I gather that drawing a cartoon of your Holocaust is firing the first bullet? I thought not a single house would be burned! Where is freedom of Speech?!

Undercover Jew3: beg that you do not retaliate to any cartoons against the Jewish Faith. No cartoon can come anywhere near the sufferings of the Jews over years of vilification from the whole world. I am a Christian but do not mock any other religious belief. It is said "Laugh and the world laughs with you.Cry and you cry alone"

O.D.M: I recommend Johnson Baby Johnson no more tears. Apparently, the who world has no tears for a fucking Arab.

Jew4: Why didn't you get mad when Dante drew Muhammad in the lowest stages of Hell? or in Medieval Depictions? Why now?

O.D.M: Cause I wasn't fucking alive!

Then I got kicked out, apparently, the One and Only O.D.M was too good for more than a bunch of pundits at once. But I think I managed to advertise my blog, so do expect some hate comments!

Freedom of speech!

Even though I like it that Iran is doing that contest, I wouldn't want Syria to do it.... let Iran "test the freedom" of speech limits as they said.

I am not playing a devil's advocate here..Even though I am moderate when it comes to religion, I do fear God and respect all religions and people, except faggets and idiots who think they are smart, so let me ask the following questions:

Before Prostitution was allowed, or lets even go back further, before seperation of church and state, before abolishing Christian states and whoring and making out in the streets was allowed:

-Did anybody dare question Catholicism? Did anybody dare insult Jesus Christ?
-Did anyone dare contest the Bible?
-Did anyone live to see another day after insulting God?

If you answered Yes to any of the above questions, run out of the first window you see, but make sure you are two stories above the ground. You are too dumb to have an opinion.

If Holocaust denials and unfavourable cartoons reminds the Jews of their greatest misery, then all those thick brained narrow minded fucks should dig this:

We the Muslims have the deepest sorrow and anger that we didn't live to see our Prophet (PBUH), and we feel the greatest regrets and sorrow that we didn't live up to his dreams of a Unified, peaceful and tolerant nation.

We The Muslims have weaknesses in our hearts when it comes to this matter, because the person who will ask for our forgiveness infront of God in the Judgement day is just an idea in our heads...a person we never saw or depicted, but we strongly believe in Us he is our saviour. If he is going to save us all, how could we not defend him and his reputation?

We the Muslims believe so much in Muhammad and his word that we, without seeing any of his miracles, and of his wisdom-first hand- still try to abide by the word of God and the life of his Messagner (PBUH).

Muhammad (PBUH) is our red line, all people can make fun of dumb Arabic failures, and how they follow their horney incompetent dicks rather than the benefit of all. You really don't hear Arabs talking about how shameful they are that they are a little better than Africa...I have accomplished better in the last 5 years than what all the Arab world accomplished in the past 70 years... What? independence? don't get me started! Science? @!#$@#$@#$@

It is unexplanatory for the Jews why they don't tolerate Anti-Semetic remarks, same with us..but this one you are not insulting 2 million Jews, you are insulting 1 great man that more than 1.3 Billion people follow his message.

Drawing our Prophet insults us, and opens deep wounds....and when people realize they can do something about it, they will.

Syria Forever


Saturday, February 04, 2006

Agents Provocateurs

O.D.M is looking for a couple of agents provocateurs for two things:

1- Instigate strife in the nation
2- Say the word cuz it sounds goood!

Know a very popular person who's got the charisma and effectiviness of a leader?

Has to be in Damascus.

let The One and Only Know

Syria First and Last


Thursday, February 02, 2006

O.D.M on Opposition

If scientists in Harvard taught a donkey how to speak English fluently and had him sit with Sigmund Freud the conversation would be something like this:

Freud:Donkey, why do you shanhe2?(don't know it in English, its whatever noise a donkey makes) What is wrong with you? Let it out, have a sip of that Glenfiddich..

Donkey: AAAAHhhhhhhhhh...don't get me STARTED!!!!

Freud: Chill out, have another sip, it's only me and you...Come on sit back and let it out...

Donkey: Where should I start?? LAK I am ugly, I get beaten by a stick everytime I wanna to do something, I don't do anything right, and I dunno how to defend myself because I am a dumbass..If I try to kick, I'd miss it by 10 meters. EEEEEEEEE and everytime I see my reflection at the pond, I poop brown balls..

Freud: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...what a dumb ass HAHAHAHAHADHkahaks



This is what our regime has become, scrambling for support...hell if those idiots get a small ass compliment from Zimbabwe it on SANA as: "Zimbabwe Vows to Fight Zionist/American Bilateral Attack on Syria"

The sad truth is, this regime is not going anywhere soon. As I have said before, there are three reasons why this regime is here to stay:

1-We are sheep

2- Israel has not opened any back channels with any opposition members.

3-King Oil Barrel and Husni "Shoe Shine" Mubarak have noticed a trend of "democratization" in the Middle East, and they are smelling a pile of green-bean-induced shit flying their way, covering their face and head full of shoe polished hair.

Save your money opposition members, as they say in Arabic: all this some food just never fills you good... Long bearded Brothers in the Hood have been doing what you've been doing since March 1971, meeting, lobbying, shouting and farting, FOR NO USE....alas

You have to understand Mr. Ammar, Seif Dalila et al. there are two ways to depose this clueless regime:

1- Mass Public Appeal and Civil Disobedience

2- Jotting down your friendly agenda, shavinng your ass and heading to Tel Aviv with some Arabic ghee ( La Vache Qui Rit is their favourite brand).

Number one is my way.

Number two doesn't need no lobbying in Capitol Hill, because if Israel likes your agenda AIPAC would do it for you.

You see, you can sit in round tables, cry of all the miseries our regime has done..but for what? it is all "draaat 3al blaat"or farting in open air, won't hurt nothing.

You think the USA and world community didn't know about the 40 thousand or so Syrians who died on that bloody February day in 1982? They don't know about the 12 Million Syrians out of Syria? about the 500,000 prisoners since Baath came to power?

Get it, the US knew about it, it also knew about the 2.1 million massacred Tutsi and Hutu Rwandans killed in 8 months, the 10 thousand Kurds and of everything that those regimes do...hell they even know when Husni Mubarak's gets her period. But they won't do nothing, and if they do anything, it would be because they need something. AND Neither I, nor any Syrian would do the American Governtment any favour...

National interest is Americas obsession, this "God given role of spreading freedom" is as real as me shitting 21 Karat gold. I wish...

The only way to gain our respect back is to have our say.

You all may argue that you were doing that last week. For all I care you may have been playing Hearts and drinking kazoz..your meeting news landed on 6 newspapers, the most impressive of them is Sheikh Hamburgarr's Al Seyassa..nice Media pitching!

You need to join my CDM Movement, and help me in fundraising so we can reach all the Syrians and tell them there is something else they can do...and like masturbating, the beuaty of revolution is that the the reaction is always waaaay better than the action.

Untill the average Syrian knows that he/she can be employed, and if he does, it will be more than 97$ a month, and that he can express his opinion freely, he won't do nothing.

And like I said many times before, if a 100 Syrians look out their balcony and see that there are a bunch of people marching with banners asking for freedom and democracy, 18,000,000 Syrians would take it to the streets..including Army personnel and Generals, Cutsoms officials.

You think they are happy? You think any cheap-ass bold & moustached mofo with three stars and two swords on his shoulders like getting their honour knocked out of them in one phone call from upstairs? Forget about the beneted few..the majority are just scared as shit and helpless, and if they get a chance they would be the first to help.

I don't want to sound like a wise ass...but you can never walk a mile without taking the first step.