O.D.M's Weekly Anger Discharge

O.D.M was drinking water as he was browsing news about Syria on his computer, and all of a sudden, he read this NEWSFLASH!!

A New Death List: Syria targets new Politicians and Reporters
Lebanese, Jordanian and Kuwaitis are targeted, including Al-Seyassa Senior Editor

Immediately, without wasting another second, O.D.M threw the bottle at the monitor, no injuries were reported, the bottle was plastic and closed.

I'll tell you my News Flash: F$^&&*@ and !#%$%^@# my %^%$$$^&!!!!

This story was on Al-Seyassa newspaper, quoting directly from a French Intelligence source...Oooooooooh la la!
This French intelligence source, should meet me in front of the Old Clock Tower in central Homs, because I want to stick that same pen he used in the report up his Dry-French-Ass. Now let me tell you secret, unlike most European countries, the French do not wet the toilette paper before they wipe their ass. They just take a paper towel, rub it twice, smell it, then throw it away, and go on with their life. they invented the tight pants, because they didn't want shit to spread all over their lower body when they walk. French people have redness on and around their little butt hole from May till mid-October of every year, that redness sometimes turns into swelling, so as they walk, you’d think they have a piece of dry French pu-pu dangling from their La dernier. The French wipe their ass in a dry manner -and you can quote O.D.M for this unknown fact.

IF THE INTELLIGENCE CAUGHT THIS FILE YOU IDIOTS, WHY ISN’T ANYBODY INDICTED YET? DIDN’T YOU SAY ALL YOU NEED IS ONE PIECE OF EVIDENCE?

piss me offf.... piss me offf....

Al-Seyassah newspaper pisses me off, so does Condoleezza…

I tried many, many times, to upgrade the tone in which I write in my respectable blog. But assholes who use dumbtelligence from Dry-Ass-French agent and quote it as if it is true piss me off, and make lose control of my renowned manners.

O.K, you have a list, I reserve the right to have list, since everybody is making up shit..who can better come up with shit than O.D.M?

This lists off people who should have taken a vacation in New Orleans during the Hurricane Katrina week, and also should have been sucked in to New Orleans sewage system, and died respectfully in a pile shit. I call it:

The Drown in a Pile of Shit List:

1- George Bush: His father George (the big one) and his mama, admitted that when Georgy was a little baby, they dropped him, and in almost all cases, he landed on his head. They confirmed that after three falls, George started speaking noticeably slower. This monkey should tighten up, because seriously, O.D.M can’t believe that this idiot can make any decision, other than from which advisor he should listen to.
2- Walid Junblatt: who looks more like (Sham Drat), in English, smelled some bad shit so he looks like it. This guy has not had a hair cut since the Lebanese Civil war was over, and changes his positions and political views more than the positions in the Kama Sutra book.
3- Bashar Assad: You have put the whole country in a big pile of shit; I think putting you in one makes the job much easier. Save yourself and give us the Parliament.
4- Al-Seyassah newspaper reporters, who write about Syria:I don’t know what to say. I don’t know why these Bedouins all of a sudden have something against all Syrians, not just the regime. Maybe Sheikh Katem Bin Iss-haaal gave them orders to do so. Those little kid lovers need to watch their mouth before they really get a bomb up their hungry mouth. 30 years they never criticize Assad, now what happened?
5- Every guy who wears a shoe, but folds its end making it a shoe-hatta slipper! Discusses me.
6- All those who blame Syria for everything, from the Tsunami, to Harriri, Shidiac, Qassir and everything else.
7- Syrian Foreign Minister Al-Sharee’: Where is he? Breaking the Guiness book of records in hide-and-seek? Get your ass out in a tour to Europe and the Middle East, speak your mind.
8- Inactive Syrians: It takes you half an hour to open my blog, in the meantime, you can send an email to 20 of your friends letting them know of the Civil Disobedience Movement! There are people who make it happen, people who watch it happen, and people who don’t know what the f*ck just happened, unfortunately you are the last one.
9- Condoleezza Rice: You look like a dog’s ass, shaved. I think this lady got me bad, few people get me like that! I am tired of her saying “I think Syria should…” “Syria must…” “Syria is not being….” I tell you what Condi: I think you should stick your head up in your own ass and fix your country’s foreign policy, and support the 300,000,000 people in the Middle East as well as the 4 Million Israelis. Not the 4 Million alone. And by support, your Harvard-graduate-black-ass knows what I mean.
10- My obese co-worker: Her parents lied to her, her relatives lied to her, and her friends lied to her. They all used to tell her that she’s cute, and beauty is under the skin, they filled her up so much that she looks like a bag of shit. She dresses in stretch pants that even show the dimples in her ass, and acts like she’s Angelina Jolie. Let me explain something, she is so fat, she is everywhere! Every where I look she's in my face. Seriously, she should wear a sticker wearing "Caution! Wide Turn”.

Thank you readers, O.D.M feels so much better after he lets it out.














Syria Forever

O.D.M Briefing:

Dear Civil Disobedients, O.D.M is very busy at work, but he has to let out his anger at some topics and fools that press the red buttons up in his bottom. Here are some O.D.M thoughts:

-Mehlis who looks like a tomato on steroids is done with investigations in Syria.
-He also seems to have no conclusive evidence, so his report will likely be inconclusive.
-To the United States, inconclusive means that you can’t rule out that Assad killed Harriri.
-Confirmed: Prince Hamburger Bandar was in Syria last week, carrying words straight from Monkey-Lipped Bush. Possibly offering an unattainable deal. For Bashar, having a sex change surgery is easier than giving up what the U.S. is asking for
-Syria has three roads to follow as of now, all three of them lead to Fortified Cement wall that the whole regime is gonna t-bone.
-Mubarak, with his hair dye that looks more like black leather shoe shine, is trying to help Syria against isolation.
-What the Kundarji Mubarak, and Hamburger Bandar don’t know, is that they can both kiss my ass. They are both worst than our regimes, One of them speaks he’s in some Egyptian musalsal, the other one is as good of taking orders from Americans as a good old German Shepard.
-The Civil Disobedience Movement is still up and running, awaiting more members to join in. Please help in spreading the word, this is crucial to get Syria back, and probably have The Republic of Emissa back, (Homs).
-The Lebanese are taking it too far blaming us for everything, if Charbel’s mama gets pregnant, they point at Ghazale!

Every country has shit to be proud of, and shit that they are not proud of.

This is Charbel, his son Eliaaays sold the other donkey,
and bought a 1982 Mercedes

Don't ask why.. just had to post a picture of O.D.M's future pet:

Syria Warns America

O.D.M looks at a very futuristic and highly improbable news story in the future, unfortunately, he knows why it is not likely to happen anytime soon

___________________________________________
Syria Warns McCain: All Options are on the Table
By Abdulkarimov Balakhof, PRAVDA Chief International Editor
February 28, 2009

[Damascus, Syria] -- Syrian Prime Minister O.D.M warned the U.S. president McCain of taking his country to the World Security Council. The statement came in light of president McCain’s “Liberty speech” in Baghdad.

“I am tired of colonialist ideologies, “uttered Syria’s strongman O.D.M in front of world reporters in the Damascus International Press Club, “McCain needs to respect this region and remember what his predecessors in the White House and the CIA did to this area and to the whole world in the past 5 centuries.” O.D.M, who was not in his usual funny character, said that the U.S. needs to pull its 40,000 troops out of the Arabian Peninsula and the Persian Gulf, or face serious repercussions. O.D.M warned of yet another American fiasco in the region, saying “American governments seem to have learning disabilities, I don’t think they learned anything from Vietnam, Afghanistan, Iraq, Lebanon, Iran”, O.D.M then exclaimed “The Americans should put down there beers and start thinking of what will happen if they keep electing people like that”, and warning Americans that there ignorance will bring their nation down.

In his speech, which was more like a lecture, O.D.M threatened to take the U.S. to the World Security Council, and did not rule out military action against Washington.

When asked about Nuclear repercussions O.D.M said that America knows better than using its nuclear weapons. He said that the Greater Syria Coalition would take down D.C. and impose a black President in 72 hours, with a little help from more than 40 million “Deprived” African Americans “brothers”, according to him.

Syria recently repositioned 17,000 of its “Syrial Killers” brigades in Cuba, Syria’s newest ally. Syrian hostilities with the U.S. started immediately after the People’s Revolution took over Damascus’ Parliament, when O.D.M’s Civil Disobedience Movement refused the American backed Reform Party of Syria. In his infamous speech at the Black House balcony overlooking well over ten million supporters O.D.M hollered: “Syria is now officially yours, the future is ours…Syria Forever”. Encouraged by the nearby experience, Arabians disposed the Al-Saud clan, and renamed the country The Arabian Peninsula; Jordanians, Lebanese, and Iraqis all followed suite and stormed their respective parliaments, and demanded real representation.

Syria now enjoys loyalty from all of its Middle Eastern neighbors, and commands a fearful 3,000,000-man strong army; scores of which are Syrian controlled Brigades of armies of more than 7 Middle Eastern countries. O.D.M is finishing touches on the Greater Middle Eastern Initiative, where a United Middle East will share resources, economies and politics in a borderless manner.
_____________________________________________________________________


What if we are democratic? Why can’t we hold the U.S. accountable for more than 150,000 dead Iraqis, and half a million prisoners of conscience in the Arab world? Who the hell does the U.S. think it is? The strongest country in the world? Well if this country respects the rule of law, then the law should hold all of the past U.S. damn administrations accountable for all the misery they put the world under. Who the hell does Condoleezza Rice think she is appearing in public saying “We want to see more freedom in Egypt”. I want to go on TV and say, I want to see your head up your own ass..you screwed us up enough already..now we can take care of ourselves.

Why the #$%#$ does the U.S. stick its head in everything? Because it is the only super power in the world? It’s the caretaker?

It can take care of my ass…Well even that it can’t, because they don’t use water in wiping their asses in there, they do it the dry-ass toilette paper ass wiping technique.

Why Jim Donkey Kong or whoever is the president of China stand up on CNN and say: We want to see less American intervention in every country’s ass.

It is kind of like your neighbor looking over your window and telling you, “I want you to change your baby’s diapers more often”; I would beat the living organs out of him, and then have him wear a diaper full of shit on his head.

What the hell is going on in the world? If America was really the way Americans think about it, peaceful, freedom loving, and full of human rights, then I wouldn’t mind.

But it is not!

Lobbying is legal corruption. When Israel spends more than a billion dollars “informing” the American government and public about its “way of life” it is actually “buying” American “decision makers”

Until you see more Non-Protestant Presidents who are not of British decadence, or a black, or Latino president you I will never say you have democracy.

Until you stop meddling in other people’s lives…deciding who to attack now, and who to bless, and who to strike, you have no business in how we live.

Freedom of speech my ass.

Why does America have such presidents? Because Americans know nothing about out of their Stateline. When foreign policy minute is up on any news channel, it is what the governme wants the world to know…Syria supporting insurgents, Attackers captured from Syria, American troops bombing Iraqi boundaries with Syria..the you get a redneck who heard the Word Syria in a negative sense in a week more than he heard his own fart… “Y’all Go get them evil doers boys!” … YeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeHAAAAAAAA

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Feels Good to let it out…

Syria Forever

Die Grosse Scheiße Interview

Since this debate has been going in circles and people are really not understanding what's the truth. O.D.M saves the world again and explains the point plainly. Since many of you you are idiots (with all respect to the non-idiot audience) and happy with words such "Democracy" and "Assad out now". Let me explain why we don't want foreign intervention to topple our regime right now, in simplest forms.

When I thought about it, I thought the easiest way to put it was to paste my interview with the German magazine, Die Grosse Scheiße. (The Big Shit in english, )


Schvania: Hello Mr. O.D.M!I and Die Grosse Scheiße would like to thank you for your time.
O.D.M: ....Get to the point

Schvania: Ok, do you think Syria can ever be democratic?
O.D.M: It will.

Schvania: What is your reply to "but Syrians aren't ready for democracy"
O.D.M: They Are right.

Schvania: Why?
O.D.M: Because we have no well established political parties other than the Brothers in the Hood. (Muslim Brotherhood)

Schvania: but what about the Reform Party of Syria?
O.D.M: Did you fart??

Schvania: Do you want democracy then?
O.D.M: Yes.

Schvania: How?
O.D.M: Thank you,

Schvania: I mean how are you going to get democracy?
O.D.M: I heard you, was talking to your cute friend.

We can get democracy in Syria by taking steps, huge steps, the first one is the immidiate demand for fair representation in the parliament. So all of us loudmouths can learn how to argue, respect different opinions, and practice democracy not at the cost of running 18,000,000 people. Once we get it right, we establish the rules to set up political parties, and let people to vote. Syrians shoot each other over denying facts that happened yesterday, dinner debates turn into fights, let alone democracy.

We can't take over a government responsibilities yet. If the Government itself doesn't know how the hell Syria is running, from imports/exports, to sewage, to payrol, to public servants/ health to education to...to...to... How the hell would a bunch of people do that? even if they are very educated? WE HAVE NO DECENT POLITICAL PARTIES AS OF NOW.

If they do a referendum tomorrow, I would nominate myself, and my father, maybe my grandfather too, so will the president of each chamber of commerce in every major city in Syria. Kurds, Yazidis, Druze, Allawites, Sunnis, Armenians, Sharkas, 12ers and every other major and minor religion in addition to atheists, gays, lesbians and every other minority will want a shot at presidency. We are a country that has been deprived of decision making and rights for more than 300 years. That means my grandather's grandfather biggest decision was which of his four woives to slap, and which one to sleep with. Nothing more.

We need institutions, we need to learn how to debate, how to respect one another, and overall we are doing so at a very fast pace. The people, as of now, want an explanation of everything new that happens. We hear about ever political prisoner going in, even if he was a mute midget. President Bashar knows very well what awaits him if he doesn't loosen the leash he has on all of us. We have been angry imprisoned dogs for a while now, and the internet, satellites, education, and next door events are slowly making our cage more vulnerable to break. Once it breaks, with our will power, we will do much more than biting!

Schvania: How will the Parliament help?
O.D.M: If we get the parliament-the way we demand it- we can have 1/3 of decision making in this country. In this parliament, we will mess up for the first six months, but then, once we fix the decision making process, we will start tackling all other issues. When we are in the Parliamant we demand seperation of power, when we are in power we demand election of eligible officials who have the credentials to do the job, not the relative who gets them the job.

Schvania: How will you get to be represented with the current government, especially with no real opposition parties?
O.D.M: By the Civil Disobedience Ultimatum. An 8-Step plan/ ultimatum that we will give President Bashar (that doesn't include him stepping over), and if he doesn't accept, we will go on a massive Civil Disobedience for a month, until the regime cracks from head to toe.

Schvania: How will you get the masses?
O.D.M: Word of mouth, blast faxes, blast emails, marketing, and once funding mechanisms in place through straight Television ads.

Schvania: Sounds like a good plan!
O.D.M: O.D.M never had a bad plan, except his credit cards payment plan.

Schvania: You are funny and cute!

O.D.M: you too..

________Interview Cut_________